I'm afraid to go back to sleep. I'm intimidated in a way nearly indescribable. I just was startled awake by a dream so realistic, I was sure it was corporeal. You know those dreams, the ones that terrorize your otherwise tranquil night, waking you into a scary state of uncertainty as to what is real or imagined. Visions capable of causing you to wake up in a cold sweat, attempting to catch your breath. I sit here under the dull light of my lamp while staring at my keyboard. I feel the need to both write down the anguish of this disturbing nightmare & to also cast it into a deep chasm of my mind to forget its creation ever transpired.
How is it our subconsciousness can create fantasy worlds capable of haunting us? Is it to keep our bodies & minds conditioned to handle trauma and ill-fortune? Is it a random event or do the dream dictionaries have a degree of merit? Why is it dreams can be so vivid one day, then you can go extended periods of time without remembering a single one? My dreams have gotten increasingly stronger and more present in the last few years after several traumatic events have taken place in my life. Is it safe to assume there is a link there? I would imagine so considering those events have been the content of many of my night tremors.
I am internally confused, intrigued and unsettled by the idea of tiny movies playing out in my mind every single night without my control. It's an odd and beautiful thing.
Goodnight,
Gayle
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