Mrs. 207

I have had it up to HERE with my neighbors. They are ridiculous. In the past, they have parked in my parking spot, which I honestly don't care about. A parking spot is a parking spot, but let me explain a story of why that has been known to upset me. Take my upstairs neighbors in 207..their spot is right next to mine. 207 contains a married couple and two young children. The husband LOVES to park in my spot, so naturally, I park in his open spot. Well After receiving several notes in very poor English on my windshield, about 6 weeks ago the wife buzzed my apartment for ten minutes and then came and rang my doorbell and knocked on my door for another ten. Did I mention that was at 3:45AM?! I was hoping she would give up and leave, when it became apparent that she wouldn't, I answered my door. She yelled at me that she had to park in a visitor parking spot(closer to the door than her spot) because I was in hers and insisted that I move my car to the street at that moment. I asked her to stop shouting and told her if she went upstairs and woke her husband and got him to move his pile of shit out of my spot, I'd gladly move if that meant she would get off my ass. She refused and said that he deserved my parking space, to which I told her she could fuck off and closed my door. She promptly began banging on my door and shouting. I had no choice but to open it back up and face her. I threatened calling the cops on her for harassment and told her if it came to that, I'd ask them to inquire about the status of her visa. That shut her up. It's not everyday I can say I got into a verbal scuffle with a pregnant lady in my hallway at 4 in the morning & won.
Well, I thought I heard the last of her until a couple days ago. See, I'm a night owl by heart. So naturally, I cook around 11PM and take my nightly shower around 3 or 4 AM. Well, Mrs. 207 recently had her child and had no issue whatsoever to parade down to my apartment a few nights ago at 5AM to complain that my shower had woken up her infant. She informed me that she would tell management about my late night habits if it continued..as if management has ANY say in when people are awake/sleeping/working etc. I laughed at her and shut my door in her face as I have become so accustomed to over my time in this apartment. However dumb that request/demand may be, I thought about it and decided I could try altering my schedule. I imagine it can't be easy having a brand new baby in the house.
Well, let me tell you something! I just took a shower at 11:30AM, thinking I was being considerate, right? Not the case. Not only was all the hot water in the complex gone, but Mrs. 207 just strutted her fat little ass over here to complain. AGAIN!! Fucking bitch. Recap, I exited the polar waters of Antarctica only to have an Illegal-Alien-Parking-Space-Nazi-Overly-Black-Cherry-Scented-New-Mother-Middle-Aged-Non-English-Speaking-Door-Banging-Asshole-Of-A-Neighbor complaining about me taking a shower in the middle of the fucking day because it "woke up her baby." No! You having your TV on loud enough that I could hear it from the downstairs hallway is what woke up your baby. Get your shit together!
I only have 20 days left in this apartment before my lease is up and I plan on dedicating ALL of them to Mrs. 207. What's the worst that can happen? Get a two week eviction notice?? Ha! I will park in her spot everyday for the next 3 weeks. I will take showers between 2 and 5 AM every day. I will ring her doorbell whenever the fuck I want to. I will stop tip-toeing around to suit her needs. She is an inconsiderate asshole and none of our other neighbors have ever had a problem with me. Just her. Hell my next door neighbor brought me dinner on Christmas, my neighbor directly above me helped me move in, 106 talks to me for 20 plus minutes at a time outside with her dog, 104 tried to set me up with her nephew, 203 helped me fix my car. My neighbors fucking love me. 207 can suck it.
And that has been a rant brought to you by Gayle :)
Until next time, stay awesome.